Another Year

I'd like to write a book. Not a memoir. All writing contains aspects of an author's life fictional or not, the voice being the main indicator of the mind and perception behind the work. If I write a book, I wouldn't want it to be directly about me so much as the things I've encountered and experienced that I feel are worth illuminating. Journalistic I suppose.


I received a bill today, for dental care. I have dental insurance and health insurance through my work. Fortunate things, that I am grateful for. It is fascinating how these work, the notion of the FT job, benefits, etc.  GDP versus GNW?

This bill, well, statement rather, that indicates that a bill is on the way, is both disappointing and unsurprising. Despite the coverage I have, and coverage I have had in the past I have consistently found, that  if I receive medical care--of any sort- in this case the perfunctory annual dental cleaning--I should expect to fight the cost and expect to defend my coverage later down the line in a not so simple process--there will always be subsequent notices that bring into question whether or not I still owe money,  and more often than not, I do, some loophole exists or the care just didn't fit the coverage paid for. In this instance, I would have forfeited the fluoride treatment had I known it would be extra.
There are heavy flaws in the system, most people have to pay co-pays when receiving care-- just for walking in the door- but there are always multiple additional costs and the processes involved with addressing discrepancies are often time-consuming and convoluted.

As for myself, I am motivated to be healthy--to spend as little as time at the doctor, dentist, etc. as possible, it is already one of my least favorite activities, so  it is even more unfortunate, that when visiting these places is absolutely necessary, the subsequent billing makes me regret having sought care in the first place.

Disappointed. With systems.


On a different note, this is the most I've written freely in quite some time. And probably the least cryptic writing I've composed for some time.

I have a lot going on in my brain and would like to make better use of it, especially when it comes to potentially plausible ideas that might benefit society, or larger populations, so called "global thinking" perhaps.

 If I have ideas that I think are plausible, occasionally I vocalize them. For instance, recently, I was considering my city becoming an "eco-district" and what that entails, means etc. I've read a bit about urban design and the future of "smart cities". I've wondered about  these progressions and how making advances in sustainable large-scale infrastructure designs could benefit society both immediately and in the long-term. One consideration I've had as of late was regarding homelessness. In Saint Paul, the Dorothy Day center is getting revamped and expanded. https://dorothydaycampaign.org/about-the-project/

Revisioned, revitalized.

Wouldn't it make sense to make this building a sustainable and renewable energy source? Cover it in solar panels, and utilize that energy, to convert and/or reduce costs that go into the buildings maintenance, and/or reduce any other costs. I'm not an engineer, I don't know how it would all work. I do know that significant change comes with cost and there's this age old expression that hasn't quite died out yet...."you gotta spend money to make money." Either way, I look forward to seeing the continued development of the twin cities.

On a related note, I read about this site recently and then on the same day, was  traveling on a city bus where analysts were collecting data on riders of the bus.
Socioeconomics of public transit.
http://alltransit.cnt.org/about-the-data/

28 soon. Warm weather on the way. Here's to another week. Years.

W o r k e d

Worked. 

What works you up?

I worked. Few things.

Music.

Got vulnerable through admittance of want. Work I want. 

Music.

in the void,
                   i,
   well,
                   i,


i'm ashamed,
of you,
and the way i act to you,
i act this way because of you.

i'm sad,
for you,
and the way i can't make you feel better,
i feel this way because of you.

i'm alone,
me,
       and well,

i feel this way because of you.

PAIRS

couples

S I S T E R S

brothers
DUO

p  a  r  e  n  t  s

LOVERS

friends

protection from separation

Judgement Attendant

I became aware of the minivans when my supervisor said one was parked in a handicapped space without a tag and he'd written them a ticket they would have to pay upon exiting. Without a given color to include in the description of "minivan" all vans were henceforth noticed, maybe to account for possible error or generalization? Who knows. 

Perhaps my sense of injustice was piqued. 

Crime is an interesting thing, I believe, mostly because its boundaries are forever being bent and stretched. There are things that are wrong and things that are defined as wrong and result in punishment be it fine or jailtime, whatever. But For instance, let us insert the word 'petty' into the equation. Is that where someone taking a handicapped spot without actually being handicapped, falls?  And what of the customer I had last week who left his dog in the car for several hours? Apparently Security felt they could do nothing. I find the motivation (and or lackthere of) interesting. 

The people who did not display their tag but parked in the handicapped spot said they forgot and showed me their tag upon exiting. What I saw was a possibly expired June 2012 blue and white flash...and a driver that appeared handicapped. 

 

While this might seem like the triviaI tale of a bored parking lot attendant what it ultimately made me consider is how we maintain good judgement. I have two jobs that involve isolation and repetitive tasks. It is easy run on auto pilot and react robotically. When something 'different'occurs I think it is important to not let that variation skew my perception and judgement. 

Panopticon Solstice

A few summers ago I wrote a very dry song a bout the end of the world. It seemed the only appropriate response to a topic I could see in the beginning of a re-trend... an uprising of subject matter discussed casually, if you will.
But people have always talked about the end of the world.
How funny is that?

I am grateful for the professor who taught me to think beyond the initial definition we apply to the word "apocalypse"


http://soundcloud.com/illiteratewatersofbunk/omnipotent


Happy New Year

i've had a journal that i've written in here and there since the seventh grade.

i used to hide it under the recliner in my room.

somewhere along the way i ripped out a bunch of pages,

i was worried that someone would read them and know how i really felt.

when i went to college it came with me.

i used to hide it in the bottom of the drawer i kept my pants in.

upon reading the older entires i noticed the missing pages, 

i wanted to know how i used to feel and what caused me to feel that way.

here i am living my life in the city.

i keep it right out on the top of my desk.

looking back and laughing i am flooded with emotion, 

i want to let someone to read it and have a better understanding of who i am.

i know myself, 

and no one knows me.